This week has been tough. Mentally, I'm angry- angry at the constant treatments, the endless cycle of fatigue, and the way my body feels like it's constantly battling itself. Just when I start to regain a bit of energy, I’m reminded how tired my body really is. I need to get better at letting myself rest, but I also feel guilt, the guilt for not being able to work and contribute to our family the way I used to. It weighs on me.
The chemotherapy is sending my body into early menopause, and with it comes a barrage of side effects, such as hot flashes, mood swings, and brain fog. But this week, it got worse. I started having blurry vision, and it just felt like everything was spiraling. There were moments this week when I wanted to throw in the towel. The thought of facing another round of chemo was unbearable. The accumulation of chemo side effects is making me exhausted. But this fight is not only for myself, but for my family, and my friends. I am stronger than this cancer, and it will never take my spirit. It will never take my will to fight.
In my moments of weakness, I remind myself that God is in control, and that He is great! There’s some good news too. My in-office ultrasound showed that the tumors have shrunk by 80%. The chemo is working. Now, the next step is deciding on surgery. I’ll meet with my surgeon in July to talk through the options.
Thank you all for your continued love, support, and prayers. They mean more to me than words can express.
One day at a time, one step at a time--All things happen in God's time.
🩷 Marla
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Oh, my dear Marlita! I am sorry that I am not good about following your blog. I should have been there for you. You are doing GREAT and fighting this wiqth such fervor and grace. It is so brave of you to let yourself feel those things and share them. I am sure it helps to get them down in words. You are such a strong woman and the fact that the tumors have shrunk that much is simply amazing! Your faith will help get you through, but please remember that if you want someone's shoulder to cry on, a hug or a laugh, I am always here for you. Sending souch love and so many good vibes your way!
I’ve been thinking about you! Keep up the fight. You’re loved! You’re an inspiration to me. You’ll look back on this one day and tell yourself “I’m a bad ass”. Kick cancers ass.